"I" to "The Great I Am"

Being by the water gives me an un-explainable feeling of peace.

I can not get the words out fast enough. My mind is racing. I am trying to comprehend all the amazing things that took place this weekend. This weekend La Grave's youth group Crew went to Camp Greenwood for a retreat. I was really hesitant to go on this retreat. I am new to this group and had no idea what would happen.
Saturday morning bright and early about 11 am we headed out (kidding on the bright and early). The rain was pouring down which was a bummer considering that we were planning on being outside most of the time. The trailer was packed with all of our sleeping bags and clothes for the next day. I rode in the Tan van which was the best (I am a little bias though). For some reason we all had a lot of energy. I could not stop giggling, which was not unusual. I was just amazed at the way that people were so welcoming to everyone. I was included immediately and felt so comfortable.
Our time was divided up into sessions and free time.


***In the first one we concentrated on how Satan destroys with lies. It is SO true. I have lies I believe that I allow to rule my life. I think the thing that struck me the most was how Satan uses just a little bit of truth to start the lie and how he is going to use the people closest to me.
Lies destroy.
I cannot agree more.
To dig into to our fears we started coming up with lies that we all believed in. I think that people would really be surprised if they were to admit their fears more often, how many people really do share the same fears. Instead we sit here quiet and afraid of being vulnerable  Let me tell you something different. We had the chance to be open about our fears with the lies that we believe. There was a big paper with the word "you" written on it. It was clean and looked nice. One at a time we all went up there and shared lies that we struggle with. After that we took black spray paint and made a slash on the paper. "You" was immediately destroyed and covered.
Lies destroy who we are. 
They destroy who we become and how we view ourselves.
I do not want the devil to win. And he does when I do not fight those lies. 
I may not be able, but GOD IS ABLE.
Fighting lies means going out of my comfort zone. But that is going to be a good thing because that is going to bring me to my knees in the presence of Jesus.

Beautiful ladies 

***In session two we really concentrated on the truth. That means fighting back with the armor of God. The armor of God including the Helmet of Salvation, Breast Plate of Righteousness, Belt of Truth, Shield of Faith, Sword of truth, and the Feet fitted with the gospel of peace. (Ephesians 6:10-12) This is not a once in a life time thing to do. IT IS DONE EVERY SINGLE DAY. For the activity for this we got into groups and we had to say three things that we did like about ourselves, three things we didn't, things we like about each other, and lastly what God says about us. Coming up with negatives about ourselves was way more simple than the positives. That hit me really hard. So often I concentrate on the negatives and refuse to find myself in a good light. Something happened though.
God worked. When people were giving me compliments I believed them. I do not remember the last time that I have believed a compliment. God allowed my heart to be opened to the positive words. I am SO THANKFUL. Yay God!
 We also touched on spiritual gifts. God is going to get his work done regardless of what we do, but he does give us a chance to use the gifts that he has given us. As Christians we are all apart of the body of Christ and we all have our own gifts to contribute to the body. No one is the same. And that is what makes it so special.  The Holy Spirit is going to empower us, but it is up to us to open up to him.

 ***Quiet time was spent with our Bibles and Christ. 31 references in the Bible-all talking about different things that God says about us. I belong to Christ. He loves me. I am his. I really can do anything through Christ.

***Session three was spent taking the "I" into the "Great I am". Jolene went through seven names of God with Bible references talking about them. It was our Sunday morning worship service. There was singing and prayer. Not just a normal "bow your head and close your eyes". We were encouraged in groups of 4 to keep our eyes open. That was a whole new experience. We went through the alphabet naming God, we prayed for those in need, and more.

The beauty of this view is just breath -taking

Overall:
This was one of the best weekends in my life. I have never been to a youth group like the one I am now a part of. I went in barely knowing anyone, but came out with the foundations to what are going to grow into beautiful friendships. Relationships were healed and renewed.I was able to have some awesome talks with my best friend. I was able to be myself. I discovered so much about myself that I refused to see before. People were open in sharing their hearts which was beautiful. The brokenness and hurt is beautiful because God turns it beautiful. 
I stepped out of my comfort zone. Volunteers were being asked for to help clean up, and I had my hand raised, but too many had their hands up so I was not chosen. I know for a fact that this was God because I would not have planned on this. But my hand was up in the air before I knew it volunteering to pray. Uh-yeah. That was God for sure. I have this huge fear of praying out loud. I should say I did. God took that fear away. God is alive and present.
I changed this weekend. God worked in me. I want to be a leader. I want to be the face of Christ through everything that I do. I want to be me. Nothing more than what God is making me into. That is enough. I am chasing Christ and will continue to do so until the day that I die. I want to love people and pour into them. I want to find the beauty within side myself that God has put there. I am special just being me.
Falling deeper in love with Christ more and more satisfies me.

Psalm 45:11
"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord."

With love,
Hannah Louise

September- Senior Year

Senior

That word just doesn't seem to register with me. I am the oldest walking the halls, the one who will graduate in June, and then go off to college. How did I get here? It feels like yesterday that I was in 6th grade, then middle school, and my first day of high school. I was always told that once I got older that the days would start going faster-that was silly not to believe. 

Everything has turned into my last of this or that. I had my last first day of school this month. It was the last first day that I get to spend at home with my mom taking my picture at the front door.

School:
1. Band:I get to share this class with Andrew which has become a fantastic entertainment for me. We play pep band so I know the music pretty well. I just turn around and watch Andrew make faces while playing. It helps when you love music. Band Geek all the way. 
2. Spanish 2: This class will be my biggest struggle. Learning a new language has never been easy for me. I take double the time just to make sure I understood. I didn't really care at first. My goal was just to survive, but that has changed. I am tossing around the idea of minoring in Spanish which just means that I need to pay attention even more now. It has helped. I love the feeling of success as I understand it. 
3. Accounting: This is an online class. Interesting...I do love the way the class works. As long as I hand in my work before the semester is finished, I get an A. Although, that is tempting to just do other homework during that class. Not a smart idea. It has been a lesson learning how to balance that.
4. Personal Finance: This is my dose of reality. It is basically taught by Dave Ramsey. I learn all about growing up...! . There is some that I will apply to my life, but some I will not at all. 
5. Study Hall: My little slice of heaven at school. I do homework, and once that is finished.I blog, journal, or sleep. 
6. Brit Lit: Oh the joys of reading. I thought I would hate this class, but I have quite quickly fallen in love with it. I love reading the old writings from long ago. Lots of vocab memorization as well(: 
7: Reformed Doctrine: This is my FAVORITE class. We look at the CRC doctrines and beliefs of all denominations. There are many open discussions of all topics. I have learned to actually go out and find out what I believe and how to support it. I just find that whole area interesting. 


Work:
 I can't even call it work though. More like just hanging out. Once a week I nanny a family I love from the bottom of my heart. I have been babysitting them for the past seven years. They are family to me. Six children who all are unique: Christian, Levi, Addison, Mikayla, Tanner, and Emma. 

New Stuff:
I made the decision not to take any dance classes this year. Which is sad, but I am excited for whatever else takes place(: 
A lot of senior girls decided that we wanted to cheer at football games, so we started a team just for home games. The team consists of all grades. It has been a blast to be a part of! 

Favorite Moments:
I had the chance to go back to MARANATHA which makes me so happy!!! We got together with two other families for dinner. When you put 17 people together things are gonna get crazy. Us kids ran around Maranatha pretty much all night just playing lots of games as we tried to stay out of trouble. We only got in trouble three times!
 I was able to have a morning to myself on the beach. It was absolute bliss. Nothing makes me happier than Maranatha. It is my happy place for sure. 

My sister, Grace, turned 12 on the 25th! It is crazy to watch her grow up as fast as she is. I love her to pieces and it was so exciting to go to her very first track meet on that day. She ran super well. I am so excited to watch her grow as a runner, or what ever she decides her passion is. 

College thoughts:
It is crazy to think that I will be in college next year. Being able to have the decision to chose where I want to pursue my education is a lot harder than I ever imagined. I mean, it defines a lot. At first I was stressing. It was so ridiculous. I was spending all my time thinking and obsessing over it. <--- Not a smart idea. Everything is going to come together when God is ready. He has a perfect plan for me to fit into. I have narrowed down my list which is really exciting to look at the colleges and just think that I will be living at one of them next year!

Friends. 
This school year I wanted to be able to have a lot of free time just to hangout with friends. It is my last year and I wanted to make sure to make the most of the time that I have left with people that mean the world to me. I am really thankful that I have been able too. Friday's have become the nights to go bowling, play slender in the dark, eat ice cream from the container, watch movies all after football; of course.  But I am really thankful for all my friends that are in my life. I am rarely at home. Our plans are never made in advance, which is a thing that I have come to love. I love eating out with them for lunch and just being able to be myself.

New stuffs:
     I have this new crazy love for football. Especially for Calvin. I have this huge sense of school spirit when it comes to those games, maybe it is just the cheerleader in me. But I am hooked. I am learning all about it which excites me so much. I love being able to understand the game.
     I have this new thing this year. Since it is my "lasts" of everything. I am trying everything that comes my way that I normally would not do. I am doing the cheerleading-which is not new, but just different than usual cheer. I am going to play powder-puff with my school. Junior girls against seniors and I am pumped! I will see what this idea gets me into later...I am excited!

My first month of senior year is done. Cra-cra.
God is good. All the time. Through the trials and hard times. I am learning just to lean on him more and more. I literally could not make it a day without him. He has never failed me yet. Yes, I question him all the time. He just continues to prove himself again and again.

"Call to me and I will answer you and show you the great and might things which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

With love,
Hannah Louise

Listen and OBEY

God is always speaking.
Sometimes it is in the quiet whispers of the wind, and other times it is very loud and clear.

Lately God has been talking really loud to me. Cool, right? I recognized it, and thought I was good. I mean it is great that I am hearing God's voice and I love it. But I was missing a really important part. That faith without works is DEAD. The book of James- which happens to be my favorite book at the moment- is based on this idea. I read James a lot and I can quote it to people in a situation. Yet, somehow when the situation fell upon myself to put the words in to action, I always back off.

The thing is that God does not let sometime go away if you do not want to do it. I wish a lot of the time. Nope. He just keeps bringing it up. He will not let you forget it. I can run all I want, but it always ends up in front of me. Basically, I fail. It would be easier if I would just obeyed.

It has been through messages that I hear in church. I feel as if the Pastor is speaking right to me. And the message just never leaves me head. God has no problem making things really clear when he wants something done. God also keeps having things be said that just hit me.

But the other day is one of my favorites. I usually go to church on Thursday, so that is where I was heading. A friend of mine and I were texting. I invited her to come to church with me. I just really wanted to talk with her and catch up with her. She ended up deciding to stay home. That was totally ok with me, and I said that we would just talk tomorrow. I knew that she needed to talk though. The feeling I had would not go away. I walked into church and made a cup of coffee, but...something was not right. I walked out of church. And I went to my friends house. That is where I was supposed to be that night. She was at home by herself, so we just sat and talked.

Conversation filled with understanding, laughter, and frustration. Everything. We had both needed a conversation like that. I was able to listen and understand. Frustration was voiced. We laughed a lot. I could not have asked for a night better than that. She is beautiful and such a blessing to my life. I am so excited to be a part of her life and see how God works through her.

Following God's voice. But of course, it works out for the best because it came from Him. If you hear his voice...listen, and obey. It will take you to a place better than you can imagine.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go; I will counsel you, and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

With love,
Hannah Louise